Marriage 2.0

The first time I ever thought about getting married, I was 16. I had a terrific high school boyfriend named Matt, and I remember thinking about 'our' future and if we would get married and have children, and where we would buy our house and all the girly things that teenagers in love do. I, of course, did not marry Matt. Matt, who I'm sure is still a great guy to this day, broke my heart but not my spirit. See, I now knew that above anything else I wanted to get married and raise a family, even if it wasn't with Matt.

When I met Mike, I was also 16, but didn't consider marrying him until a few years later. By the time I was 19 it was all I could imagine, our wedding, our house, our children, our FUTURE. We were living in the tiny and ugly apartment and I couldn't wait to become a Mrs. and use the terms 'husband' and 'wife'. When he (finally) proposed, I was 21 and so excited I couldn't see straight! And after about 1.5 years of planning, shopping, stressing, and everything else, our wedding day arrived and all of my dreams (to that point) came true! Unfortunately, we all know how that story ends.

Fast forward a few years, to Nov. 20, 2011. My new man, Chris, and I have just spent 6 days in the amazingly beautiful Caribbean, with the blue ocean water and the Spanish accents and the delicious all-you-could-drink fruity cocktails loaded with rum. It was an absolute paradise. We had taken to early morning walks to the beach, we'd walk towards the rising sun and bask in the silence. We'd see the ocean as the sun was coming up, and we'd hold hands and laugh as I took a million pictures and he chased all of the assorted lizards roaming the country. On our last morning we woke up, got dressed and headed to the ocean for one more early morning walk before we left Puerto Plata and headed back to the US. We strolled slowly, holding hands and chasing lizards, and when we got back to our villa we were overcome with happiness to announce that we were ENGAGED!!

It has been 2 months since that beautiful final morning in Puerto Plata. 2 months of hypothetical conversations about our wedding, of picking an idea of a wedding date, and this time the process is completely different. I don't want the white dress, the bridesmaids, the sit down chicken-or-fish dinner, or the flowers. Truth is, I don't really know WHAT it is that I do want, other than that at the end of it, we're husband and wife. My friends inform me that I was just as 'blah' the first time around, and somehow managed to pull a 200+ guest church wedding out of nowhere, and it was beautiful. This time, I have visions of a courthouse and a BBQ in my parents back yard with a grill full of hot dogs, and kids jumping in the pool. Either my tastes have changed, or I've grown past the fairy princess stage.